It's only a memory

I've been neglecting my blog and I feel bad for doing it. Sorry blog, I treat you more like my journal than a blog if anything. I've been thinking a lot lately, like more than the usual and I miss the things & people in life that made me the happiest kid on earth. Lately I just feel a bunch of blah.. I know one day again I will be happy but for now just taking it day to day. Finishing college soon, saving, and planning to move out. I want a fresh start. I deserve it. And lately have been missing that boy who broke my heart. I tell myself I'm over it but I know I'm not. This is going to take a lot more time than I thought to get over you.

Dreams..

It seems the older I get, the less time I have to dream and to less energy I have to try to make them come true.

Some friend..

I know she talks about me and it's sad because she's the type of person who doesn't know what she wants out of life. Seriously do your own thing. I don't go around talking about you. Go be with your dumb boyfriend who doesn't know what he wants either. Ya'll can go be dumb together. Thinking you know it all. Good for you then, I don't know why you act like you want to be my friend. Bragging was so 2006 and for losers. No one likes a bragger. I let her do it anyways because it's so funny watching her sound & look dumb sometimes, I'm laughing inside.

yeah, but i'm getting over it. sucks.. but why should i "care" for you if i know you don't even care for me. okaythanksbye.

I remember that night of the meteor shower where I made a few wishes upon those shooting stars. One of my wishes was that I would find a true love and I guess now that I found someone I loved, I guess I also should have wished that they would have only loved me back. Can I have one more wish please? I wish that this heartache would go away. I don't want to suffer anymore than I already am. It's so hard know what's happening is happening. Life goes on, we all must keep moving forward. Maybe I'll meet someone who will take my pain away. I just want to find someone that really makes me happy. I seriously go out of my way to make others happy at my own expense, this is what I get? I'm wonder what I did that makes me deserve this. Or maybe karma is just working backwards right now. Whatever it is, it needs to hurry up and happen already. All I do is try to be optimistic and positive and spread the love.

It's hard giving up someone you really love.

I'm not sure how this is going to affect me. But I know life goes on, it doesn't stop, and we keep moving forward. Sigh..

This boy has been broken but never shattered. Many have tried to destroy him but he never allowed them. Many have mistreated him, many have used him, and many have ridicule him but he never gave in. He has never given up. He has never allowed his enemies to prevail. Why? Well because he's still strong even when he feels like there's nothing left of him. He refuses to give up and continue to persist on. He doesn't know what tomorrow holds for him but he does know that no matter the obstacle he will get through it. This boy is me.