I just don't know anymore... I'm excited and yet sad. I really hope things work out for me and this is just a moment of life that's temporary. Tomorrow is my birthday and I can care less about it. I want to do what I want but it seem impossible with what I have going on right now. Life is giving me a big curve ball right now... Let's see if things change in a couple of hours.

So many feelings and emotions running through me. Happy, sad, neutral. I honestly don't know where to go from here in life.. Obviously move forward but that's easier said than done. What the fuck man! I feel like my life is going to waste at the moment and isn't being lived up to my fullest... At moments like this it makes me scream out FML! Hopefully I figure something out soon. Currently at the point where I want to shoot myself.

INTEREST. the topic of this blog entry.
what is it that makes another person interested? you just want to find out every little thing about them. and just right when you seem to get bored with that person, interest just kicks in all over again and you crave the need to know more. a person can be boring as hell but yet why do we seem to hold interest? is it love and can it be that powerful? we just want to find out every little detail down to each secret. but it seems that when all the secrets are out, things change. I'm not a stalker get it straight. but curiosity got me hooked, its like a drug. and you know the old saying curiosity killed the cat. maybe not finding out everything about the other person is a good thing. but i wont let an old cliche saying get to me. times have changed but have the people? i hope so. and when i do find out somethings that i shouldn't, lets hope there aren't dramatic changes. i like where we are but i only want to get closer. is that to much to ask? do i come off to strong? i cant help but be me, and if that's something i need to work on, only time will help and tell. where do go from here?

my promise..

no matter what happens. no matter if our feelings change. no matter if we hurt each others feelings. no matter the situation's change. i promise to always be your friend. things happen for a reason so respect the past. but never doubt the future for what it beholds. expect happy moments, everyone feels down, just remember no matter what happens i will always be your friend through your ups and downs. and in this life we will live on, so when you're feeling down, call me up so i can turn your frown upside down. we both may have been right or we both may have been wrong. respect is what we need to have for each other and befriend each other all life long. i do not hate, i only love. so with my love lets live our lives together on.

-Arnann Phangdy

September 15, 2009

i like what it said. haha.

Libra (9/23-10/22)
Every time you get rid of an old idea, assumption or unwanted item, you make room for a new influx of energy and growth. Today, you could use a big dose of freshness, so see what you can do to empty a few closets (emotional and bedroom alike). Whether you toss out a relationship, a grudge or an old sweater, you'll immediately feel a sense of freedom and relief. You've been released from hanging on to what you thought you needed. The truth is you already have everything you need.

Life..
its just a word. but its what we do. we live, grow, learn, take chances, make mistakes, make friends, cry, laugh, love, family, share stories.. There is so much to do and we have a limited time of life to do so. everything we do, what we say, how we act, all impacts Life. there are things we all want to do but yet again we all have obstacles and things that stop us from taking actions and making choices. you always have a choice in life. and your consequences are based on the choices you make. i still am learning to accept, whether it be words, actions, choices, friends, or what ever. Life isn't easy. but again, it cant be so difficult. at some point in our lives we ask ourselves why? we don't always have an answer but that's part of life you got to try and find out. be thankful for each day and think of how far you've gone. at times we feel on top of the world and can just conquer all, then some days we feel so low, lower than the deepest parts of the ocean. but its all normal. Normal, another word which we all can seem to relate to but that's about it. you just relate to the word. no one is normal and weird is what we all seem to be. and if you're not weird you're not normal. We all have insecurities and we all know our insecurities. and if you don't have any insecurities, then you're lying to yourself. its what all humans have and we all try to fix. Life is strange and awkward but that's where the beauty comes from. From being diverse.

not sure where to go from here. i was just thinking and it sucks how i want to do something but i don't have the necessity for it. and just trying to find a way makes life more like well, Life.

i don't want to leave this world unrecognized and just melt into the background. so each day live it up. go the extra mile and make it all worth while. learn to trust yourself and others. that's where i have a problem. trust is difficult but it shows no matter if you do trust in the person or not. trust cannot be hidden. And love, love yourself as well as others.

I'm at Jealyn's 4th birthday party & I just feel awkward. I was hesitant on attending b/c I am helluh broke to get her a gift but I told Mina & she was like naw its cool & she was like get some food to eat. Haha.. They're so nice and understanding tho. That's why I like em. They're helluh chill and fun to be around. But right now I just feel awkward.. Sitting here on my phone blogging. Hah. Ugh.. I hope I don't have to work tonight. Stupid call in shifts are annoying.. a92 is starting to get on my nerves! I'm not even scheduled to work this upcoming work.. But I guess since its the month of my birthday I just wanna chill anyways. I have also been trying to find an extra job & its fucken annoying b/c no one wants to hire these days. Fuck them! Hope this weekendn I mean this whole month goes by chill & smoothly. I don't know what else.. I'm just gonna go back to chilln' and call work to see if they need me.